Incidents

In my work world, and incident is defined as an interruption to service. In my mommy world an incident is when someone at day care gets hurt and a form is filled out that I have to sign. In the last 2 weeks I've lost count of the total I've found in Rachel's "paper pocket" that hangs on the wall at day care. Let's just say there have been more days these past few weeks WITH an incident report than days WITHOUT.

The first one, she bit someone, which floored all of us. The next one, she got a bruise because the day care teacher driving the buggy cart they were riding in pinched her against the door (she felt horrible!), there was another bump on the head (she fell down), pinched a kid's finger for taking her toy and then today's, which kind of made me laugh. Her teacher lifted Rachel's shirt and showed me the perfectly round teeth marks left on Rachel's back. Apparently Rachel took another little girl's toy, so the girl bit her. What goes around comes around! I don't know if it was the same little girl that Rachel bit, but I think she's even now.

The report yesterday had me concerned because her teacher wasn't there and I wanted to hear what happened. So I went up to the office to ask about it and was told that the little boy's finger that she pinched actually belongs to one of the directors' sons. She was the one talking with me and told me it's not a big deal, toddlers at that age just don't have all their words yet so they express their frustrations by biting, kicking, scratching, spitting, etc. They are all doing it, it's very typical for this age, don't worry about it.

Would you believe it when I said the last 3 weeks with Rachel have been pleasant? As in I haven't dreaded picking her up and taking her home for fear of the tantrums, fits and screams that would ensue because I've decided to look at her. I won't lie: I've honestly been afraid of my child. It's like a light has been switched. Now the most annoying thing she does is whine when she wants something. And I'll be honest that there are times where I'll bribe her into doing something else so I don't have to tell her no and can avoid a tantrum. Not always, but there are times. But when we get home she chatters, communicates (mostly), giggles, plays, and gives me so many hugs and kisses without me asking her!

This morning when I woke her up she snuggled on me so I laid on the couch for about 10 minutes. It was 10 minutes I truly didn't have and yes, I was late to work this morning. But it was so worth it to feel her laying on my chest, halfway falling back asleep and grunting when she thought I was moving to get up. It feels so good to have a child that now wants to be around me and wants me to play with her instead of clinging to me out of necessity and not hardly giving me room or space to breathe. I wouldn't say being a parent is an easier, but I will say that it's certainly more pleasant than it has been in the past several months (year?!)

Yesterday I remembered to pick her up some little hair clips and hair bands to put her hair into pony tails. I can almost get her hair into two very, very tiny pony tails. However, it works better if I just put it in the one. Unfortunately, it does hurt to keep her hair in a pony tail all day, so I try not to put it up that way more than one day in a row to save her poor head. She won't let me put a barrette in still, and the clips don't seem to stay in long....they either fall out or she pulls them out. But it's in her face enough that I do need to keep it pulled back.

I think it's almost daily now that she'll point to something or say a new phrase out of the blue. One day as I picked her up she pointed to a toy and said, "bus!". Sure enough, it was a bus.
Yesterday as I gave her a bath I started flinging water at her head to get her hair wet since she was by the running faucet and she yelled, "Stop it!" That was a new one.
She did start calling Geri "Gamma" while she was here this week....although she still calls anyone who could pick her up "Mommy".....sometimes she even calls daddy that!
Tonight as she stood at the top of the stairs preparing to throw her ball down the stairs I heard to count to five. If you didn't know what she was saying, you wouldn't realize she's counting because the words aren't formed right. But you can tell by her inflection and her attempt to pronounce each number that she's counting. I was impressed!

Sunday as Geri was packing up her car to head downtown to her conference I was trying to help her gather her stuff and could hear Rachel playing in the utility room. I heard squeals of laughter and chatter, so I knew she was fine. Geri went to get a hug and say goodbye to her when I hear Geri call out, "Uh, mommy? You might want to come see this..." I walk in and peer down the stairs and find the cause of the excitement. Rachel had thrown a pair of my shoes and several articles of clean clothes I had just pulled from the dryer down the stairs and thought that was so fun. You really can't blame her. If I didn't have to pick it back up, I'd throw stuff down the stairs too. It is a good time! To keep her from falling, I handed her the items that had been thrown down the stairs and had her put them back in the laundry basket. She does do a really good job of picking up items she throws or spills when they aren't done on purpose. It's when she throws them in anger that she gets into trouble, and she knows it. Thankfully, she doesn't do that as often.

Saturday while Jason was still home and Geri was here we were all moving about the house doing whatever it was we were doing and Rachel was acting really sleepy. She had her blanket and pacifier and was laying in the utility room kicking the dryer....because let's face it, that's also a good time. She had gotten fussy, we could tell she was tired, so we just let her lay there. A little while later I could still see her feet sticking out from the dryer, but realized she hadn't moved for a few minutes. Jason and Geri went to check up on her and sure enough she'd fallen asleep. Yup, on the cold, hard tile floor next to the dog bowl and the dryer. We think because the dryer was going and making a consistent thumping noise and the fact that it was warm in there she just got comfy and fell asleep. Once I knew she was out, I scooped her up and put her in her bed. Geri got a photo of it, and it's hilarious!

I don't have any new photos right now to post. She's still adorable!

A Winter Update

Christmas has now come and gone. So has the bubonic plague that Rachel brought home. We finally got her better only for Jason to fall ill about 24 hours later, and myself 24 hours after that. I'm glad we ended up canceling a lot of our Christmas festivities because whatever she had was highly contagious. However, we had to cancel a lot of our Christmas festivities, so we missed out on seeing several family members!!!

Thankfully, we were able to open Christmas presents on Christmas day, although all of our activities had to be either shortened, modified, or delayed.

On day 5 of being cooped up in the house with a very grump kid, Jason and I were going stir crazy. So was Rachel. You could tell she was bored, still feeling sickly, and not afraid to let us know about it. So the day after Christmas it was snowy but sunny, so Jason got her and Rachel out of the house to play in the snow. My grandmother had given us this really cute snow suit and it almost didn't fit! The boots were a little big, but they did the job:

Jason actually made a snow person. Rachel, pretty much just stood or sat there and ate the snow. But she did like walking around in it and being outside. It was a much needed activity that for all of us.

We got inside and made hot cocoa. I decided we needed some socialization so I texted Geri to see if she wanted to Skype. She was so disappointed that all of our plans to get together for Christmas had fallen through, so I know she was excited to talk to us and see Rachel. And such a blessing: she was really wanting to see Rachel and we were really wanting to see less of her. Within 30 minutes of chatting the car was packed and we each drove to meet each other in Louisville! Grandma got to spend time with Rachel and we got some much needed down time.

I'm sure it's a combination of teething and also that horrible stomach bug she came home with, but she was awful. Nothing we did was right, the smallest things would send her into screaming fits. We tried hugs, we tried kisses, we tried talking, we tried understanding, we tried time out, we tried spanking....nothing was changing her grumpiness. So being stuck in the house for 5 solid days with a toddler that was acting like that. Well, there just aren't words to describe how one feels after dealing with that.

And as an added Christmas present, Rachel was kind enough to share her horrible stomach bug and Grandma Geri got sick too. (And Uncle Alex....and Aunt Gail.....)

But they had so much fun down there. We met up with Geri and David on New Years day and brought the same illogical toddler home. And she was like that for Wed, Thurs, Fri and Saturday. Then on Sunday something happened. It was like a different toddler had replaced ours. She was happy, giggly, polite, pleasant. I didn't question it....I embraced it....and her! Suddenly she wanted to play with mommy. She was even being nice to daddy! We danced, ran around the house, colored, drew, watched movies, played games, and so much more. Perhaps this is what other parents see when they talk about how rewarding it is and how much fun it is. Because for the past several months....this hasn't been fun for Jason or I.

I did some research and without a doubt, Rachel is a "Strong-Willed Child". And I realized that we were trying to make her behave the way we want her to, but she's a child that knows what she wants and doesn't want to be told what to do. The more I read the more I found out that strong-willed children, such as ours, are difficult as young children. But if nurtured properly will grow up to be great leaders because they know who they are and they know what they want.

So we've changed our approach with her a bit. Granted, having her feel better helps. And she still acts horrible now and again. I mean, c'mon she's a toddler. But more often than not she's well behaved, sweet, thoughtful and a little easier to explain things to. She can communicate a little better, which really helps.

We had a great weekend together this past weekend and even went shopping for a bit. I think it was a bit much for her, but at least we got out of the house.

Then today we had a bit of a mishap....I had to sign an incident report:

If you can't read the above photo well....what happened was Rachel bit another little girl today. HARD. Enough to leave a bruise. I didn't see the other little girl to confirm, but Rachel got into some trouble. Apparently she didn't want this little girl to sit next to her, so she bit her. When I picked her up and asked her if she bit someone today she shook her head "yes." I thanked her for being honest and told her that if she didn't want someone to sit next to her to just say something. She gets stuck in ruts where she'll point to something and whine so she doesn't have to try to talk because it is a lot of effort to try to get words out when communication is still frustrating to figure out. I asked the teachers to please let me know if they see her acting out like this because that means we're going to have to try to teach her different outlets that are healthy and acceptable for her frustrations. I am working with her on that now....but it's hard. Poor kid. Both of them.

But now, let's focus on some fun Rachel things. The Day Care has started a new program called "Tadpoles" where they take photos and videos every day of the kids. Some they send are blurry or the videos showing most of the other kids, not Rachel. And that's okay, the kids move around a lot and quickly. But here are a few fun ones they sent me:

Her teacher did this for me and I thought this was hysterical. Look at her hair!!

She looks like Cindy Lou Who! And when I got her home and took it out....

It stayed that way! I put her hair up the next day as well, but when she got home and I took it out, she was frustrated because it hurts. And I can understand if you aren't used to wearing your hair in a pony tail and then do that all day, your head is sore when you get home. So I've started using these small hair clips, but she pulls them out. At this point I think her hair is just going to have to be in her face!

Aunt Heather was kind enough to send Rachel this dress for Christmas and I had to trick her into thinking this dress was another "tutu" in order to get her in it. She has refused to wear pretty much anything other than leggings and a t-shirt or sweatshirt for months. I'll try to put jeans on and she'll say, "I don't like it!" Because they aren't soft and comfortable. *sigh* Strong willed child.....anyway....I managed to get her into a dress for church this past Sunday:

Saturday night before she went to bed we were picking out pajamas (Right now I can't get her to wear hardly anything other than her pig pajamas) and she saw the underwear I have in her top drawer. She INSISTED on wearing the Thomas the Train undies under her onsie pajamas (her piggies were in the wash at the time). The underwear went over the diaper. I'm not sure how comfortable that actually was...but it was funny. When we first pulled them out of the drawer she kept trying to put them on her head like a hat. I didn't manage to get a picture of that. I did, however, get this:

She refuses to wear socks to bed, which I can let slide. She gets really warm when she sleeps, so I have to be careful what kind of pajamas I put her in to sleep. Most days if I put shoes on her then put her in the car to go to Day Care she'll have the shoes and socks off before we've driven the 3 - 5 minutes to get there. Thankfully, she seems to be leaving her shoes on at Day Care, which was a problem when we first started going there.

One of her favorite things to do right now is to play in the sink. I'll put a stool in front of the sink, give her a few measuring cups and spoons and she will play and play. I believe I posted pictures of it when she first started. But now she doesn't make as big of a mess and she still loves doing it! I've started leaving her in the small bathroom by herself because I can hear if the sound of the running water changes, which means she's messing with the faucet. Rarely does she do this until she's done and she's trying to shut the water off.

She likes her space, for sure. She likes for us to pop in a movie and then walk away and give her some "Rachel time". Matter of fact, she likes this for most activities because she knows if we see her doing something she shouldn't, we'll make her stop. Like opening the wrong drawer in the kitchen that has all of mommy's "junk". If we don't see her doing it, we don't stop her. For the most part, there's not a whole lot she gets into that she shouldn't. So we respect her need to do her own thing and explore and destroy stuff in the house. I think giving her this freedom has really helped because when she's done playing on her own, she comes and finds us.

She can go up and down the stairs on her own and does so frequently. Normally I'm just inside the kitchen so I can hear if she's on the stairs or not. Surprisingly, she is pretty careful when it comes to watching what she's doing. I think she's slipped on the stairs enough to understand she does need to go slow. (Thankfully she's only tumbled a few steps a few different times. Just enough to learn the lesson but not be hurt!)

She REALLY likes to draw with pens and pencils. Crayons are just okay. Sharpie markers are the best. I think I've put all of those out of reach now that she's discovered how much fun they are. I am NOT a fan of markers. Pens I can handle. But I think she feels more "mature", if you will, when using a pen. She likes to draw circles and say "Circle!"

I don't think there's many new phrases she uses, however she will repeat phrases I say back to me, but not use them again on her own in context.

Somehow the word "banana" had turned into "Nice!" Not sure why, we've always said "Banana" and asked if it was good.

She INSISTS on having ice cream (sherbert) every day after day care, because it's the only time I'll allow it. I buy the tiniest containers they have at the store and will split it in half so she only gets half of it per serving. During Christmas we had cookies all over the place and I finally told her we could only have cookies in the morning for breakfast (I bought cookie crisp so I could at least give her a cookie, but not have to give her too much). Right now that phase has passed, but we haven't been able to stop the ice cream one.

She does chatter on quite a bit, and she likes to talk to herself a lot. Whatever she says apparently is funny because she'll babble about something then all of a sudden start laughing as if she finds herself amusing. I'll start laughing because she's funny and she'll keep laughing because I'm laughing.

She really is a great kid, but difficult right now. Like I said, the past week or so most days have been mostly good days, which is a nice change from what it was. Tonight she had a grumpy night because she'd gotten in trouble at school and then my friend Sam was over this evening and Rachel doesn't spend a lot of time with her and was really shy. Here's hoping she has a better day and has learned her lesson about biting.

C'mon molars....come in already and let's be done with this!!