As I look back on photos of Rachel when she was little....I notice that most of them have her pacifier in them. And honestly, they've made me cringe. I know I've worried about every little thing with Rachel since she's our first and only. Did we start her on solid foods too soon or late? Should we have pushed her into potty training a little harder so since she so readily was ready for underwear when we finally made the leap? Should we encourage the lie about Santa? Do I tell her I love her enough? And certainly, those are NORMAL questions for a parent. Should we probably have worked harder to get rid of the pacifier? Perhaps. When we moved here last year there was NO way I was going to switch her schools, swap out diapers for big girl pants, settle her into a new house and new routine AND take away her pacifier. I even spoke with her teacher about it and we both agreed she needs something familiar and comforting at that young age. Even though that stupid pacifier has been a point of contention for both Jason and I, we just let that one slide.
Many nights I would try to encourage her to leave it on the dresser so I wasn't completely taken away. Offered to let her take it to the toy store and purchase a toy with it. Donate it to Baby Cara (My friend Crystal's daughter). But each morning it wouldn't be on the dresser any longer. So sadly, I just let it go and hoped that one day she'd just say, "Mommy. I don't need this thing. I want to throw it in the trash." Miracles can happen, right?
We did limit it to just when she was going to sleep. In the mornings I would put it high on a shelf where she could see it, but couldn't get to it. If she wanted to take a nap on the weekends, I'd get it for her (although she hasn't taken a nap on the weekends in MONTHS). And she has gone this whole year falling asleep at school without one.
I also noticed that one of her pacifiers had started to get a hole in it and she would ask for the second pacifier we had. But even the second one was starting to get holes. So I would tell her that if both of them had holes and didn't work that well, I was NOT buying anymore.
Then this past December something glorious happened. While Jason and I were away in Indy Rachel stayed with her Grandparents here in Newburgh. They'd run into an issue where they could NOT find her precious night-night to go to sleep. So the entire time I was gone Rachel would sleep at night without it.
I wish I could have purchased my in-laws a new car. I was SOOO excited. As soon as she told me that I instantly ran upstairs and HID the pacifiers.
The weekend while I was gone Geri and David had taken Rachel downtown Newburgh to see Santa again. Apparently this Santa gave out free beanie babies and Rachel had chosen a dragon that she loved.
That first night back at the house Rachel informed me that I had forgotten her night-night. I informed her that I think she's done a good job of sleeping without it at Grandma's house. And since Santa had given her this new little dragon that perhaps she could sleep with the dragon instead of her pacifier.
I tried SOOO hard not to make a big deal about it even though I wanted to throw a parade. And just as I had hoped, but keeping the pacifier a ho-hum no big deal, 2 or 3 nights later all talk of the pacifier disappeared.
So.....should we have just taken the pacifier away from her? NO. I'm not sorry we waited as long as we did. It didn't hurt anything. It allowed us to sleep at night and we've desperately needed that comfort as a family for the past few years.
I honestly don't know how else we would have been able to do this without horrible fits and hurt feelings. It's one thing if the lack of a pacifier is sincerely unavailable instead of someone hiding it and lying to her about it. Or blatantly telling her she can't have it and she knows that grown up knows where it is. In this situation no one lied to her or misled her about where it was. No one took it and told her she couldn't have it. It was sincerely and innocently lost. In my opinion, this was an answer to prayer. And it gave her so many lessons:
- How to survive without a pacifier - she survived!
- Adults lose things sometimes and we all just have to deal
Now....did she discover the pacifier later at her Grandparents' house while we were there? You betcha! She'd apparently thrown it and it had rolled under a table and due to the light color no one could see it! However, I told her she'd grown up enough she didn't need it again. (And it had been on the floor, so it was dirty and we needed to just throw it away).
Regardless, I owe my in-laws a big one on this one. Not only did they get us over that hurdle to get rid of the pacifier, they did a phenomenal job of dealing with Rachel and handled this situation VERY well!
Many nights I would try to encourage her to leave it on the dresser so I wasn't completely taken away. Offered to let her take it to the toy store and purchase a toy with it. Donate it to Baby Cara (My friend Crystal's daughter). But each morning it wouldn't be on the dresser any longer. So sadly, I just let it go and hoped that one day she'd just say, "Mommy. I don't need this thing. I want to throw it in the trash." Miracles can happen, right?
We did limit it to just when she was going to sleep. In the mornings I would put it high on a shelf where she could see it, but couldn't get to it. If she wanted to take a nap on the weekends, I'd get it for her (although she hasn't taken a nap on the weekends in MONTHS). And she has gone this whole year falling asleep at school without one.
I also noticed that one of her pacifiers had started to get a hole in it and she would ask for the second pacifier we had. But even the second one was starting to get holes. So I would tell her that if both of them had holes and didn't work that well, I was NOT buying anymore.
Then this past December something glorious happened. While Jason and I were away in Indy Rachel stayed with her Grandparents here in Newburgh. They'd run into an issue where they could NOT find her precious night-night to go to sleep. So the entire time I was gone Rachel would sleep at night without it.
I wish I could have purchased my in-laws a new car. I was SOOO excited. As soon as she told me that I instantly ran upstairs and HID the pacifiers.
The weekend while I was gone Geri and David had taken Rachel downtown Newburgh to see Santa again. Apparently this Santa gave out free beanie babies and Rachel had chosen a dragon that she loved.
That first night back at the house Rachel informed me that I had forgotten her night-night. I informed her that I think she's done a good job of sleeping without it at Grandma's house. And since Santa had given her this new little dragon that perhaps she could sleep with the dragon instead of her pacifier.
I tried SOOO hard not to make a big deal about it even though I wanted to throw a parade. And just as I had hoped, but keeping the pacifier a ho-hum no big deal, 2 or 3 nights later all talk of the pacifier disappeared.
So.....should we have just taken the pacifier away from her? NO. I'm not sorry we waited as long as we did. It didn't hurt anything. It allowed us to sleep at night and we've desperately needed that comfort as a family for the past few years.
I honestly don't know how else we would have been able to do this without horrible fits and hurt feelings. It's one thing if the lack of a pacifier is sincerely unavailable instead of someone hiding it and lying to her about it. Or blatantly telling her she can't have it and she knows that grown up knows where it is. In this situation no one lied to her or misled her about where it was. No one took it and told her she couldn't have it. It was sincerely and innocently lost. In my opinion, this was an answer to prayer. And it gave her so many lessons:
- How to survive without a pacifier - she survived!
- Adults lose things sometimes and we all just have to deal
Now....did she discover the pacifier later at her Grandparents' house while we were there? You betcha! She'd apparently thrown it and it had rolled under a table and due to the light color no one could see it! However, I told her she'd grown up enough she didn't need it again. (And it had been on the floor, so it was dirty and we needed to just throw it away).
Regardless, I owe my in-laws a big one on this one. Not only did they get us over that hurdle to get rid of the pacifier, they did a phenomenal job of dealing with Rachel and handled this situation VERY well!
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